Change The Channel

Saturdays. We have until about 3pm, and then Paul heads off to work and it's just me and the boys. We always miss him. It becomes a countdown of the hours before he returns home. Today, though, instead of just watching the clock, we headed to the park.

I watch a lot of scary TV. Like... Snapped. Law & Order: SVU. Dateline. It's probably not the best thing for me to do, considering I am far too anxious and worrisome as it is - you know, without filling my head with these stories and worst case scenarios that are far too "typical" these days. I should stick to Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy, but no no... I need to know about the world's most far-fetched and terrifying crimes and criminals.

As we pulled up to our quaint neighborhood park today, there was only one other car in the lot. A truck. All the windows were down, and an older couple was hunched down in the front seats, a pitbull with a studded collar in the back. They had no kids, from what I can tell... they were just sitting in the car. Staring as we pulled up. The park was empty, and I immediately started to think of ridiculous scenarios as I unloaded the boys from the car.

Text Paul, tell him where you are.

Park far enough away to where you would see them coming if they headed toward you. You know, to attack you.

How would I get both kids in the car, and then myself, to get us out of here quickly? I would just throw both the kids in the car, on the floor, and BOOK IT.

Put your phone away. Make eye contact with them. They need to know you're aware.

I should Periscope our park trip. So I'm "live" if anything went down. Thanks, social media!

I miss the innocence of never assuming the worst, or never "going there" in my mind. I'm working on reminding myself daily that I'm smart, aware, and God didn't give me a spirit of fear... and also trying to identify when this intensified so greatly? Being a mother has made it worse, for sure. Life means so much more now that I have two sets of beautiful blue/gray eyes staring up and me expectantly.

I don't want them to get my anxious tendencies. I don't want to go to bed at night with my mind buzzing with all the crazy things happening in the world. I can feel my heart relax as I repeat "Jesus. Jesus" and move on with my day. His name truly does bring peace. Perfect peace... peace peace. 

I vow to skip past the news as often as I can, and savor the good news happening around me daily. Stop DVRing The First 48, and read more books.

To the park we go, past the possible criminals and to the swings.

Do you guys think too much or too often about the big, crazy world we live in? What helps you to remain centered, confident, and focused on the positive that surrounds you?