Thanksgiving Update: Baking With Toddlers

Today, Porter and I attempted our first cake together, and I just gotta be real: baking with toddlers is a complete joke.

Maybe girls are more patient, but Porter seriously made me want to rip my hair out. He wanted to taste everything. After repeated "nos", I just let him go for it. Let me tell you, the look on his face when he tasted vanilla extract and unsweetened cocoa powder was a pained one, and I fought back every urge to beam at him: "I told you so".

I told him not to throw stuff into the KitchenAid. After I fished out apple skin (from the apple he was eating), and a whole egg, I told him he was on sous-chef probation and that he needed to vacate the counter. In retaliation, he shoved his fork into my dry ingredients and tossed it into the air, the culinary version of giving me the finger.

It was raining flour, cocoa powder, and granulated sugar. And I was seeing red. I plopped him off the counter and onto the floor, where he continued to rant about the disgusting "coconut flour" (cocoa powder) that I "made him" taste. I turned on my mom-survival-blinders and just ignored him. He stomped around the kitchen, pitching an absolute fit, until he decided tears were a better approach, and he just sobbed: "... but I wanna help youuuuuuuuu, mom!"

First of all, I am "mommy". Don't you dare call me mom like some teenager, and stop trying to make me feel guilty. You tiny, tiny, little dictator.

Second of all, YOU CANNOT PUT WHOLE EGGS INTO THE KITCHENAID. You have to follow the recipe. I know this is asking the impossible, since you can't wipe your own butt, but that's why I was repeatedly and willingly reminding you of the rules. When you chose to ignore me, time and time again, you get the boot. That's just how it goes.

And now, he's freaking out because when I asked him what he wanted for lunch and when he said cake, I told him it wasn't a possibility.

My cakes are out of the oven, and it's time for the filling - which he is not allowed anywhere near.

Frosted Fingers

One of the best parts about being a mom is learning how to be the fun mom.

Porter and I made a cake. A chocolate cake, with milk chocolate frosting. He was beside himself with joy, but I explained to him that we couldn't frost the cake until the cake was totally cool.

"Cool? I cool, mom!" (We always tell him how cool he is - when he dresses himself, or uses his imagination, or keeps a really great beat on his drums).

"Yes, Porter, you are SO cool. But I mean, like, we can't put frosting on the cake when it's warm because the frosting will slide off."

"Into my mouf? Frosting will swide off into my mouf? Dats ok mom!"

"No, no... onto the floor. It would probably slide off onto the floor. And that would make us so sad, right?"

"I lick it off da floor, mommy."

Me too, son. Me too.

So, we waited for a painfully long time before the cake was cool. Then, I sat him up on the counter and began to spread the chocolate frosting around the top of the cake. His little fingers were shaking, and I watched him swipe little bits of frosting as I turned the plate... And I didn't admonish him. I just smiled and smoothed out the dents.

Then I let him eat a big mouthful of frosting off the knife (a butter knife, it's ok. I'm fun, not murderous). He kept dragging his finger across the side of the cake as I turned it, and I kept smiling at his not-so-secretive efforts to sneak frosting and smoothing it over.

He got so excited when we were done, he ran into the living room to announce to everyone the the "CAKE WAS READDDYYYYYYY!" And then he split a slice with his dad, and gazed at this dessert so lovingly. He was so proud of the process.

I hope I'm always the mom that doesn't hesitate to let down my hair so that my kids can eat the frosting with their fingers. In a world where structure is king and rules are rules and omg that's not vegan/gluten-free/of the earth/free of preservatives and colors and BPA will keep you up at night, it was great to let Porter have a little fun without worrying that I was a total failure.

I try pretty hard every other day, but indulging with the littles is truly the ultimate treat for the soul. Try it this weekend: eat some frosting from your fingers, have a bowl of cereal for dinner, split a milkshake, let them top their ice cream with whatever they want, and think of us!

A vacation with kids is not a vacation at all.

I live for vacations. Which is a little troublesome, since I feel like we don't take many. Haha... but, we planned this vacation a few weeks ago, to celebrate my husband's and Jen's birthdays in a snowy little town called Leavenworth, and to say we were all a little excited was an understatement.

Not only was this our first vacation as a group in quite some time, but this was the first time we were escaping together WITH OUR KIDS.

We questioned whether this would be a vacation at all, actually. Jessica and Davey's boys are older (meaning, they can use a toilet and put themselves to sleep), but Porter and Lincoln are 14 months and 9 months old. They still nurse, they still wake up a few times during the night, they are obviously still in diapers and need to be entertained and watched 24/7.

So, basically, this was a different experience entirely.

Here are a few ways vacation with toddlers is not a vacation at all.

• Stairs. Omg, do you guys realize that most houses are - by nature - BABY DEATHTRAPS? And this genius of a mother (talking about me) doesn't own a baby gate... because, you know, I like to live on the edge. The house we stayed at was three floors, with like a billion flights of stairs. I had to get creative, creating blockades with unused ottomans and dining room chairs on their sides. Porter is like a moth to a flame when it comes to stairs. He will drop anything he is doing to climb up some stairs; if he sees an opportunity, the stairs are like a irresistible, shining beacon of fun and imminent danger. He will RUN to them. So, when I successfully block off all the landings and I am thinking to myself "WINNING!", he scales the wall and climbs up the banister. I. Am. Not. Kidding.
• Babies Don't Care About Sleeping In. Porter and I came downstairs at 6am a few mornings we were away, and were promptly greeted by our friends Jen and Lincoln. Oh, hey guys. No sleeping in for you either? Not gonna lie, I was a little jealous that the Jones boys were still sleeping (as were their parents). I pretended to be all panicky when Porter started playing his xylophone outside of Jess and Davey's room, but I was secretly all "muahaha" when Jessica flung open the door and stumbled out half-asleep to the bathroom. I mean, I know she's earned her sleeping in (three kids later and blah blah blah)... but if Jen and I are awake and sucking down coffee, you will be awake and sucking down your lemon water, Mrs. Jones.
• You Can't Take Kids Into A Bar. When we were sledding, some kind stranger - (actually, I'm not sure who told us - I had retired to the car early because I had a frozen Porter Popsicle. So, yeah, I just waited in the car for everyone else to finish having a blast. Yet another reason why this vacation is now different, but I'll just keep moving for the sake of word count) - so anyway, so stranger told us that this little hole-in-the-wall down the road has the BEST pizza in town. Well, turns out, it was the town bar. Jen, Jess and I stayed in the car with all the kids while the guys ordered and waited for our to-go pizza. That in itself is super annoying - especially with a cranky toddler needing a nap and not at all pleased to be sitting in an cold, non-running car.
• Vacation Language Isn't A Thing. We have this joke about saying and doing whatever we want on vacation - after all, it's vacation! If I want to have Doritos for breakfast, I will. We talk about married things, we laugh at inappropriate jokes, we play intense games of Heads Up and Catchphrase and - err - Uno, and... things can get heated. A few of us hate losing (Paul), a few of us cheat (Jessica), and a few of us may have mouths like sailors (Me, Jen). I know, you're shocked. Well. Kids don't understand the good nature of this, and pretty soon Jackson Jones is wandering the house telling the little kids to stop being "so damn loud. That crap is annoying". Oops.

So yeah, anyway... bottom line, I joke around - but it was a blast. I loved hanging out with our families and making so many new memories. One of my favorites: the older kids played Xbox downstairs, and told us a few times they were going to go "pwn some noobs". We were like... "what are you even saying."

Jess got really nervous, but didn't want to make her kids feel like she didn't trust them, so we did what every logical parent in 2014 does: we Urban Dictionaried it. Turns out, it is to completely obliterate your opponent in any event where there is competition, though the term specifically originated from Online Gaming. Very similar in nature as "owning new players". Phew.

You learn something new every day.

Our cabin for the weekend!

Fall Things: Friday at Fox Follow Farm

We spent a fun Friday afternoon at Fox Hollow Farm, a beautiful (albeit, kinda spooky) farm nestled into the hillside of Issaquah. It was magical: fog swirling above the treetops, reds and orange and gold leaves all around, piles of pumpkins and white-fenced arenas, wild bunnies hopping around randomly, a box of brand new kittens for your petting pleasure, a barn full of friendly horses, pony, tractor and train rides for the kiddos, parrots (!?) in the trees above out head greeting us, a beautiful river behind a charming little farmhouse, and plenty of mud puddles so that my Hunter boots could earn their keep.

It smelled like sawdust, campfire, leather, and evergreens.

It was magical.

Oh, and I'm told the "Sweet Shoppe" was selling the makings for S'Mores, so you could carry them over to the bonfire and cook your own. Somehow I didn't end up here, and I'm considering driving back up for that part alone.

Life is so much better when you spend it with great friends. This is Maggie, Katie, Jodi, and Jen... four amazing mamas that I get to be around all the time. It's so fun raising our kiddos together. Not only will Porter will have these wonderful memories growing up, but I will be able to look back on days like this and remember how amazing it is to be surrounded by genuinely good people. Especially as I'm learning and growing in my new role as a mother to a (gulp) almost one year old!

I love photography. This photo above is amazing, but if you panned back, you would see Porter perched perilously on a very questionable tree branch, with Paul's arm death-gripping his leg. Doesn't Porter look so relaxed for a child that could possibly fall into the river at any given moment? ;)

Love that Porter loves his daddy so much. It makes my heart skip (several) beats.

See. Beautiful, and only a little spooky.

100% adorable here. Not even a little spooky.

Adventures In Baby-Proofing

Yesterday, I followed Porter around the house baby-proofing. I followed him around for a good hour -- he realized he was no longer confined to the TV area and was booking around the house like a locomotive.

You guys, this was genius. Sometimes you never know what needs to be adjusted until your baby is all over it and/or shoving it into his mouth, right? This was a great plan. Or, so I thought. I didn't take into account that he is fast. While I was busy "fixing" something, he was off into another mess.

Just a few of his shenanigans:

• He ate dog food. A stray piece from the bowl I had removed from within his reach. HE ATE DOG FOOD. I fished it out of his mouth as fast as I could, but not fast enough. Eww.
• He got stuck behind the recliner. I didn't realize that I couldn't follow him everywhere. He wasn't a happy camper for a good 90 seconds and I tried to free him frantically.
• He got ahold of his bottle of teething tablets, which were on the bottom shelf of his changing table, and now it's his favorite rattle. He won't give it up.
• He got on my laptop as I plugged some outlets and sent an email that I wasn't meaning to send yet. Thank God for the "undo send" option.
• He found my magazine stash, and proceeded to rip all the pages he could get his hands on. Within the four seconds it took me to make it to him, he had demolished like ten magazines. HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE.

Daily Adventures with Porter

I love that I get to spend the entire day with Porter. I'm so blessed to be a work-from-home mom.

However, I don't love that he likes to rip my stung lights off the wall before I can catch him, chew on my sandals (ew),  assume Lennon's dog food are the same as his sweet potato puffs, or clamp down his razor sharp new teeth on my newly-shellac'd nails, laughing as a I try to pry it out of his mouth without ruining my manicure.

On the bright side, I've gotten so much better at cleaning up as I go throughout the day - mainly because I really don't want my baby getting electrocuted, or eating whatever is stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

So... winning, really.

10 Things That Make Me Really Happy

In no particular order:

1. When my son smiles at me. BEAMS, is actually more like it. It's crazy. I love that smile more than more things in this world. It's better than caffeine in the morning.
   
2. Speaking of caffeine: coffee from a mug makes me happy. I love a piping hot Starbucks like everyone else, but there's something about fresh coffee in a fun mug that makes the morning just that much better.
   
3. When my husband sings country music in his fake southern accent. I pretend to get annoyed, but I really, truly love it.
   
4. Snowfall. There's nothing more peaceful to me than a cold, dark winter night -- snow falling, lights twinkling, a glass of red wine or hot cocoa in my hand. It's seriously my happy place. I absolutely love the winter.
   
5. Rereading a verse in the Bible for the millionth time -- but hearing it in a whole new way, for the first time. It's amazing when that happens.
   
6. Baths. If I need a minute to myself, I will seriously run to draw a hot bubble bath and peruse Instagram or Twitter on my phone. Even if the bath only lasts for ten minutes, I feel brand new.
   
7. Going out to eat. I love dining out. I'm a foodie at heart. My husband and I have so much fun trying new restaurants or doing a random Yelp search for a rave review, and then finding out for ourselves. We've found some of our favorite spots and had the best date nights by perusing Yelp while driving aimlessly around Seattle.
   
8. Taking a lot of pictures. I always get annoyed with myself for snapping hundreds of photos, until I look back weeks, months or years later. Then, I'm so grateful.
   
9. Diving into a new TV show on Netflix or Hulu. And by diving in, I mean watching back-to-back-to-back episodes until we're caught up. Usually, full seasons in one sitting. Our newest obsession? Scandal. Uh-mazing.
   
10. Having nothing on the to do list. It's rare, and when it happens, I never forget to savor that moment.

Every Day In May: Day 9

A moment in my day, brought to your by my crappy iPhone 4s. We had a Leadership Development night last night at church, and Porter was more interested in getting some good snuggles in with Auntie Bekah than he was in becoming a good leader :) I thought this was such a sweet photo! Love them both. (And that's the sunlight streaming in through the windows, by the way - I didn't edit this photo to death. Haha -- in fact: #nofilter)

Porter's Wishlist

Ok, so, this is less "Porter's Wishlist", and more "Mommy's Wishlist". Dressing a boy is a lot of fun. I'll admit, the one thing I was sad about when I found out I was having a little guy is that I wouldn't get to dress him in vintage rose prints and pink-n-grey damask leggings under a buttery yellow tutu.

However.

Trends these days are making my boy-dressing-days extremely exciting. Chambray and clashing prints and baby designer jeans... yes, please. And seriously - unisex leggings? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Sometimes it's game. How many different prints can I put Porter in before it's "too much"? This weekend, he wore camo leggings, a vintage-looking Team USA Nordstrom tee, and a red/white striped beanie. That, with his big baby blues, and he was a little baby knockout.

Ugh. Have I mentioned how much I love my boy?

Take a look at some of my recent favorites for Porter: Nordstrom, Baby Gap, H&M, Old Navy Kids and Etsy are some of my favorite places to browse. And yes, I realize the jeans are technically for girls, but I'm just not convinced.

ON THE BOARD:

Moncler 'Patrick' Hooded Vest (Infant)
nordstrom.com

BOSS Kidswear Stripe Cardigan (Infant) Navy/ Grey 18M
nordstrom.com

Gap Chambray Anorak Pullover
gap.com

adidas 'Superstar 2' Crib Shoe (Infant)
nordstrom.com

Kids Baby Girl Size 4-24m
hm.com

Jellycat 'Bashful' Puppy Rattle
nordstrom.com

Hand printed organic kids leggings tribal print/ aztec print...
etsy.com

Friday's Letters

Dear Happy Hour Sushi, you are amazing. Especially on a Monday. I appreciate you getting my week off to a stellar start.

Dear Washington, thank you for two exceptionally sunny spring days this week. The rest of the world may scoff at my appreciation over blue skies in April... but unless you live here, you just couldn't possibly understand.

Dear Scentsy, thank you for making a bar that smells suspiciously like the perfume that you pump through the ventilation system in several of our favorite Las Vegas hotels. I feel like I'm on vacation in my living room -- minus the all you can eat buffets, jingling slot machines, and basically anything else that is awesome.

Dear Weddings with a 3 month old, just no.

Dear Reese's EASTER Eggs, please get out of my life.