Currently - November 15

- Making googley-eyes at my new iPhone 5s. I love it so much. It's so pretty and bright and perfect. I'm doing things on my phone I would never normally do, like making voice memos about the current episode of Law & Order that is on my TV. Just because I can. Just because it's so pretty.

- Listening to Christmas music. All of you "omgeee, don't mention Christmas until after Thanksgiving" people... just relax. And read my BFF Jess's thoughts on this same subject (under "Refusing To"). I support her logic entirely.

- being annoyed that people don't know how to use an apostrophe.

- Fighting back tears after reading this fantastic post by an amazing blogger. Just, yes. This is my entire heart toward my husband and son. I could have written this (and I wish I had). Beautiful.

- Lusting over the Naked3 Palette from Urban Decay. Confession: I don't own previous Naked palettes, but man... rose golds? You got me. I'm signed up and receiving the alert the minute this becomes available.

- Sipping my morning coffee very, very slowly. I love peppermint, I love caffeine, and I love that it's FRIDAY.

- "City Folks Just Don't Get It!" Oh my stars. Have you seen the commercial for FarmersOnly.com? Laughing. Out. Loud. I thought it was a joke!

What's going on with you currently?

I just can't.

I don't understand how people talk about the Anthony Weiner scandal with a straight face. I want to giggle like a five year old whenever I hear his name... and then, the fact that he's in trouble for what he's in trouble for?

He couldn't have, like, been a money-launderer or something?

I mean, really.

         

Goodbye, Negative Nancy

Day 20, Monday: 

Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

I feel like I kind of went over this in Day 16; I feel pretty blessed with what I've been given, and despite the typical "new mom" struggles, I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on life. And of course, there's the normal female struggles -- being happy when I look in the mirror, finding a cute outfit on the floor of my room (because that's where all my clothes are), hating my hair... but really? I can't possibly find enough to say about those things for an entire post.

A Public Apology To My Hair

Dear Hair,

I'm a really, really, really sorry for everything I've done to you over the years.

I've never appreciated you. I've colored you, cut you into a chin-length bob, I've hacked multiple layers and brought you from platinum blonde to jet black without so much as a second thought. I've cut you on my own when I was too impatient for an appointment.

Then, I had to go ahead and get pregnant last year.

You were so excited. You grew and grew and grew and never got greasy. You LOVED LIFE. You made me excited to wake up in the morning. I spent many magical hours perusing YouTube for fun tutorials that I could try on you. I could throw you up in a silly topknot and you looked chic. I could  toss you into a messy side-pony, and you looked fab. I could straighten you until you were a shimmering blanket of brunette, or I could curl you until I had people stopping me in the store to ask me "how do you do you hair?" I could throw some sea salt spray in you and let you air dry, and people wondered if I was just coming home from a day at the beach... and I live hours from the coast. You were killin it.

And now, baby's here.

And where are you going?

I still need you. Please stop falling out, and come back to me. When I'm in the shower and I'm conditioning you, I'm not crying because of lack of sleep, or because I desperately need a night out, or because I can't seem to catch up on laundry. I'm crying because you're leaving me, and I don't know how to stop it.

I'll give you all the Moroccan Oil and Bumble and Bumble Thickening Serum you can handle, if you just stay put.

Love,

Corianne

Every Day In May: Day 3

Today I'm telling you all about things that make me uncomfortable.

Have a seat. There's nothing I love more than awkward, cringe-inducing lists.

• Opening gifts. I literally dread birthdays and Christmas if I think about gift-receiving. I mean, I love presents. But I hate opening them and having to react... even if it's a good gift! I mean, do I jump up and down like a ten year old so I can properly convey how much I like it? If I hate it, should I cry and then they will mistake my tears of disappointment for tears of sadness? Ugh. So awkward.
  
• Watching a movie with my family when a love scene comes on. I don't think I need to elaborate here, there's nothing comfortable about this. Absolutely nothing.
  
• People that don't respect personal my space. I don't need to be two inches from your face to engage in a serious conversation, and if I keep backing up, you don't need to keep inching forward. By the time we're done talking, we've completely moved rooms - and that's just weird.
  
• Singing your own lyrics or reading your own poem. You know those reality shows where a contestant whips out a piece of paper to read their potential love interest a poem they just wrote for them? I. Wanna. Die. Yuck.
  
• Going through metal detectors, or getting pulled over. Even though I know I'm not carrying an illegal weapon or stashing cocaine in my glovebox, I can't help but get completely nervous and awkward in these situations. What gives?
  
• When parents yell at their children in public. I don't know if this makes me uncomfortable as much as it makes my angry. Have some respect; for yourself, your child, and the people around you.
  
• Watching labor and delivery on TV. Even now that I've done it (fist pump!), I have to ignore it, walk away, or talk over the TV. It literally makes my insides ache.
  
• Smalltalk. Even if I know you really well, if we don't really have anything to talk about, I'm probably dying a little inside. And when you bring up the weather, I just have to walk away awkwardly to end the misery. I'm sorry in advance.
  
• WHEN PEOPLE TYPE SENTENCES IN ALL CAPS. Aesthetically, eww. And why are you yelling at me via the computer?!
  
• Secrets. I hate knowing something that I'm not allowed to share. That much power and control gives me anxiety.
  
• When Pastor tells us to turn to the person beside us to repeat something. This is my internal dialogue during service, when this happens: "Omgggg, but I have two sides! Well, we all do; so which do I choose - left or right?! And what if the person I turn to, turned to someone else?? So awkward!" So lately, I pretty much just use that time during the message to check Instagram.
• When I ask someone "how are you?" and they reply with, literally, everything that is wrong with their life today. Dude. It's just a formality.
  
• Soap opera acting.
  
• Food Network's Anne Burrell
  
• Talking on the phone. Omg. I had to add this one late, because I read it on someone else's list, and I think this has to be my #1. 9 times out of 10, the only reason I answer my phone is if my parents or husband are calling. Sometimes, I even ignore calls from my best friends. Truth. I don't know why talking on the phone makes me feel like I'm dying a slow, painful death. Awkward pauses, starting at the same time, talking over each other, barely understanding someone through their newest fancy, shmancy handsfree device. Ugh, just no. Text me. Please, for the love of everything holy.

She May Be The Youngest Person I've Ever Hated

Kaia Crawford. She's eleven, you guys... are you kidding me?

She's a freak of nature. A beautiful, supermodel-coursing-through-her-veins, dresses-better-than-me, cheekbones-higher-than-Snoop freak of nature.

That's all.

Image Souce: E! Online