Personal Inventory: Comparison, Change & Other Grown Up Issues

I have had versions of this very post saved as drafts in my blog for quite some time, but I'm taking the time now to actually sit down and organize my thoughts, put it all out there, and press publish.

I'm a diehard people pleaser. Like, to my core. Nothing upsets me more than thinking about letting someone down, or meeting a low expectation that has been placed upon me. I give myself stomach aches overthinking and overanalyzing everything, and being a mom has magnified this trait in me even more.

Here are three areas I'm working hard to conquer right now.

The Burden of Social Media
Last night, I actually wondered how much happier I would be if I didn't have Instagram, and I didn't see all these mothers that have their entire families on raw, whole food diets on a daily basis. If I didn't have to scroll through pics moms who make homemade play-doh and get up at 4am every morning for french-press coffee by their huge window while they faithfully and obediently read sixteen chapters in their Bible.

Instead of feeling inferior, I'm going to make it my goal to let it motivate me. Without those moms who post about their raw/whole food diets, for example, I wouldn't be making a conscious effort to make myself, Porter & Paul fresh juices and smoothies each day. I may not do it for every meal, but once a day is a huge leap in the right direction for me. My fridge is stocked with more greens and produce than it ever has been before, but only because I made the decision to be encouraged rather than defeated.

Growing Up & Letting Go
It's always been a struggle for me... change. I always thought of myself as a "go with the flow" kind of girl, but I'm not at all. Recently, I've seen this in my relationships. Truth is, friends are going to walk away, I have to be ok with that. Priorities change - mine included - so I can't be surprised or hurt when priorities change for others, too. The ones that are in my life for the long haul will become clearer and clearer over the years - this has already proven true. Relationships should get easier, not more difficult. If they become difficult, something has to change - or, maybe something already has. Either way, when change does come... I. Have. To. Accept. It. I have to thank God for the vision to see beyond the heartache or frustration, and keep moving.

On the same note, there are people in my life who have been there - steadfast and supportive - for years... and I didn't even notice. It saddens me for a minute, until I realize it's never too late to nurture those friendships. Take inventory of your relationships now and then - you may be surprised at what you find.

Becoming My Biggest Fan
I make underhanded comments a lot... to myself. It wasn't until my husband brought it up (that he hates when I do it) that I really took a good hard look at the way I talk to myself when I didn't think anyone was listening. "This looks disgusting." "My hair looks horrible." "Nothing looks good on me." "I feel so gross." I say those things a lot. Way too often.

I realized that if my husband hears me, then that means that Porter hears me too. Soon, he's going to understand what I'm saying, and I don't want him to think his mother is unhappy with herself. He deserves a strong, confident mother than knows her worth and not only walks it out, but speaks it too. Truth is, for the hundreds of things I want to improve, there are a hundred and one things I love. I just don't address those audibly.

I should. I should smile at myself more in the mirror, rather than wrinkling my forehead or turning sideways and looking at myself from every angle for fifteen minutes before I leave the house. I should be proactive about my image - if I hate how I look when I don't get dressed in the mornings, I should pick out my outfits the night before so it's ready for me when my alarm goes off.

What about you? Have you ever felt like the pressure to be the "perfect mom" is magnified by the hugeness that is social media? What about the waves of change that inevitably come... how do you deal? Do you give yourself enough credit, or are you your own worst critic? Feel free to comment below; I would love to hear some feedback on these grown-up-issues that don't have to do with wave spray or BB cream ;)

Every Woman's Quest: The Perfect Sea Salt Spray

There are a few things that we women desperately want in life.

• To marry our best friend
• To have a couple of beautiful, healthy children
• A body that looks good in a two-piece.

...and, a good sea salt spray.

CAN I GET AN AMEN.

I have tried them all. The expensive salon ones that leave my hair sticky or so stiff that I could probably rock a faux-hawk, the cheap ones from the drugstore that are literally like spraying water in my hair, and the oily ones that leave me looking more like I sprayed tanning oil on my head. Triple eww.

Date Night With Myself

Last night, I took myself out.

It's been a rough week in the Burton home. Paul is sick with the flu, Porter was sick and is now on the road to recovery, and I desperately needed a moment to breathe. So, I sent Porter with Grammy and Opa to clean the clinic, made sure Paul was comfortable on the couch, and I left.

I drove out to Ulta and spent a good hour pouring over all the makeup and hair products and curling irons I could handle. I bought another new sea salt spray, a new BB cream, about forty new concealers (#momprobs), and then I took myself to the only coffee stand that was open at 8:30pm and got an iced white almond-milk mocha. At 8:30pm. Clearly, I am sleep and sugar-deprived.

Anyone who asked (the girls at Ulta, the barista) what I was up to, I gave them my current life story: "I HAVE A ONE YEAR OLD AND A SICK HUSBAND AND I NEEDED SOME TIME TO MYSELF." I was met with knowing and sympathetic smiles from the Ulta girls and a semi-confused and totally-alarmed smile from the eighteen year old barista, but I didn't care. It's reality, sweetheart, take notes.

I swear by hair night, and now I swear by Ulta-sprees. I don't think Paul agrees, because he almost died when I handed him the receipt (followed quickly but a bottle of new hair product for him to try, because I love him and I'm smart like that: never return from a shopping spree without something for your spouse. I learned this the hard way.)

What I Love: January 2014

I wanted to share some of my favorite new beauty finds with you guys today!

Now, I can't take credit for all these finds. I blogged-stalked some of my favorites for these recommendations, and I adore them all.

One of my IG BFFs, Britt Havens, (did I really just say that? IG BFFs? How creepy am I?) posted about this on her makeup blog, which I randomly happened to find through her baby blog (like, I said, I'm a creep). She talked about how this smells deliciously like Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle, and I have to agree. It's amazing. And, it works really well for my winter-chapped skin, and it's small enough to fit into my makeup bag, which I love.

This little treat I found via the beautiful Mrs. Measom. She posted an Instagram photo about her find, and raved about how it was literally the best thing she's ever tried (or something like that). I need something light, something smoothing... something that makes me look like I'm eighteen years old and freshly returned from a tropical vacation. Flawless, airbrushed. In little to no time.

So, basically, I need a miracle. I'm new to the whole BB/CC cream thing (in fact, I have no idea what it is. I need to read-up), but if this little bargain from Target works this well, maybe I need to splurge on something a bit more professional. Thoughts? Please leave them in the comments!

Anyway, for what it's worth, I lurrrrrve this Garnier BB Cream. It's lovely and will probably be a staple until I find something even more miraculous.

I've seen this stuff a bazillion times, but somehow I've never tried it -- until now. I had a Sephora gift card for Christmas, and I stocked up on some little treats. This was one of them. I had recently read about this from my favorite food blogger, Jessica (seriously, she's amaze. I would read her blog even if the recipe isn't something I'd ever eat or make, because she's a riot). She blogged in November about some of her favorite beauty finds, and her schpeal about the Sugar lip balm convinced me to try it.

This is my own find - HA! See. I can be a beauty blogger.

I bought a rollerball of this fragrance at Sephora. I originally found it on Black Friday, and fell in love with the sweet cherry smell. And you guys, I am NOT a fan of cherry anything. Like NOT, as in NOT. Bolded, underlined. However, I smelled this without looking at the packaging, and when I loved it, I looked at the name: "Cherry In The Air". WHAT?

This is a limited-time-only fragrance, so you may not be able to try it. Neener neener neener. Just come smell me.

My hair gal used this on my ends after my recent bout of blond ombre... the only bad thing about this style is a natural brunette can seriously FRY her ends (ahem, me). So, I use this daily: on my wet ends, and then again once my hair is styled. Just for good measure. Not gonna lie, I bought this because it smells insane: like fresh pears and something else. When I forked over the $30 bucks, I also noticed it said organic.. so, like, justified.

Let me know if you have tried any of these products, or if you have some die-hard favorites that you swear by! My favorite blogs to read are "love lists", especially in regards to beauty products. I'm the girl that spends an hour of free time in the makeup aisle at my favorite drugstore. It's bad.

Happy New Year, I'm Still Alive

(Oh this thing? It's a blog, Corianne. Something you keep updated somewhat regularly.)

*crickets*

I'm baaaack. Took a much needed holiday hiatus and enjoyed time with my family, as unplugged as possible. It's so hard when my work requires me to be on a computer, at home, 24/7. Once I'm done with my day, I want to bury the computer in the backyard turn off the computer and not look at it again until I have to.

Christmas was lovely. Porter could care less about presents, was way more into the wrapping paper and empty boxes. A couple of his favorite toys, though, once we got them set up and he could actually play with them: a little red car that I'm pretty sure every baby in the land received, an adorable teepee with a cute little lamp, and a baby grand piano. He jams on that thing like NO ONE's business.

A downside: we headed out of town the week after Christmas with family, and both kids (Porter, and his 2 year old cousin Amelia) got sick. Like, puking, pooping, coughing, crappy fevers, sick. It really put a damper on our relaxing 5 days away, buuuuut we successfully completed a 1,000 piece puzzle... sooo... yeah, we win.

It's now January 7th, and I'm attempting to completely change my eating habits... permanently. I'm cutting back on all processed food and sugar, at least Monday - Friday... just being real. This girl needs some cheat days, or else I'll give up entirely. However, I've noticed my cravings are changing... which happens when you start giving your body what it should be getting. You start to crave the right things. Coffee isn't even tasting good anymore (!!!), I'd much rather have a delicious smoothie.

I've been juicing and making smoothies, and I love it -- my newest favorite is my grapefruit/orange/pineapple/strawberry juice with a handful of packed spinach. Delicious, and so filling.

Truth be told, we're starting to discuss thinking about trying for Baby #2 soon... but before that happens, I need to get my body into a much better place. So, we'll see how the next few months goes... 2014, you're going to be a fun-filled, fantastic, healthy year.

We're (getting) ready for you.