Like, quit. Cold turkey.
This explains so much about me. I get overwhelmed, and I just give up. I get anxious, and I run away. Instead of tackling something that looms over my head, I pick up my phone and tackle the next level of Candy Crush instead, blatantly ignoring what I should be doing.
I haven't completely abandoned the blogosphere. I've been keeping Porter's blog current, for the most part, which is my biggest priority. But, I'm back. I won't catch up on my Every Day In May (I debated it), but I will come back to blogging about life in general.
Paul and I had a great date night on Friday, we got wrapped up in a great convo on the way home. I've been a tad (read: NOTATADACTUALLYALOT) emotional lately; could be the mama hormones, could be birth control, could be the fact that I've definitely abandoned myself lately. We figured out it's absolutely because I haven't picked up the Bible nearly enough. I haven't taken the time to feed myself, spiritually, like I should. How could I ever expect to grow and revel in what I've been blessed with, if I don't keep myself spiritually evolving? I live by example. I live out loud. And in the past six months, while learning how to become a mother, I grew quiet.
I know Jesus. I talk to Him daily. I thank Him often. But, in the busy-ness of life, I got a little distracted. I got a little down on myself. I got a little defeated that I no longer had it all together... having a baby really requires every ounce of yourself that you have to give. It's not shocking that without replenishment, you're going to run dry. You can only run on fumes for so long, even the great, holy ones. ;)
I get it now. And I'm grateful for a husband that is patient and loving, and that will lead me back when I get lazy or defeated. I'm grateful for a husband that loves God, and motivates me to pursue my relationship with Him above anything else. Life is a beautiful ride, but it deserves my complete and total attention. It deserves the best of me.
God's given me more than ever expected to receive... so why did I think he would expect me to handle it all by myself?
So, yeah. I'm back.
- Diving headfirst into His word
- Diving back into blogging daily
I'm a mess without both.
girl i feel ya...I posted about this recently and then fell short exactly a moment later. I don't know why this season is so hard to pick up His word...
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