I'll pause here, so all the working moms can angrily exit my blog and remove me from their Google Reader.
Oh good, you're still here? Let me explain.
When my husband gets home, and I'm still wearing yoga pants and have not yet gotten into the shower, I feel so lazy. Granted, he never makes me feel this way, and it's absolutely something I put upon myself... but still. If I feel it about myself, it must be accurate, right?
I mean, I haven't even thought about dinner, the house is a disaster, and I look like I just woke up. I wonder if I'm ever going to be the supermom that manages to make it all happen and still look like I just stepped out of everyone's Pinterest board.
I mean... I work from home. Shouldn't I have ample time to cook and clean and decorate and run errands and meet my friends for coffee? But the truth is, there are times that I'm torn between being a great employee, and being a great mom. If I keep responding to this email and ignoring my child's incessant jabbering, is he going to remember that I'm more interested in what is on the computer than I am in what he's chattering about?
I have to pause here and take a few deep breaths.
Well, I kept my baby happy and healthy, for one. He's smiling and tearing toys from his basket gleefully. My employer doesn't hate me. I managed to squeeze four client calls into Porter's afternoon naps, and I actually got my laundry sorted into piles of "Must Wash Today" "This Can Wait Another Day" and "I Should Probably Just Throw It Away". Oh! And I blogged.
God does what He always does, and reveals to me what I so stubbornly forget. I prayed for this for years. All I wanted was to be a stay at home mom. So, this is what I've been given, and now it's mine to conquer. I'd be a fool to think that this was the easy route. Life doesn't work like that.
I think I'm starting to get the hang of it.
- I may not get dressed up every morning like I did when I went to a "real job", but I feel 100% better about myself if my hair is styled. So, one of my top priorities is making sure my hair is curled and backcombed a bit. I haven't accomplished this daily, yet, but I would say that 3 days out of the week... my hair is done and I'm a happy camper.
- I have 5 minute clean-ups throughout the day. I'll stop everything I'm doing, and run through the house organizing, cleaning, putting things away... but only for 5 minutes. If it's longer than 5 minutes, I'll start getting annoyed and frustrated... but a 5 minute pick-up is all I need to feel like I've regained control of my life.
- I have to remind myself (about work) a few times throughout the day: this isn't life or death. My amazing boss told me this one day after I bawled my eyes out because someone was unhappy with me: it's not life or death, right? Uh... no. No, it's not. This is so unimportant, in the grander scheme of things. It I find myself panicking about a client's attitude, or wondering how to fix an website issue that has seemed to stop the world from turning... I pause. I breathe. And I remind myself this isn't life or death. It sounds so silly, but it really helps to ease my anxiety.
No matter how out-of-control life seems as the mother to a nine months old (!!!) and a full time project manager, I am truly thankful to be able to kiss Porter's messy face whenever I want. The coffee breaks I used to take in an office are now coffee breaks at my own Kuerig, accompanied by a baby that could happily eat his weight in frozen blueberries, and I truly couldn't be more thankful. He's a great coffee date. :)
I'm sure next week will bring a whole new slew of challenges, which is ok with me. I've become pretty accustomed to change, these days... I'll roll with it. Probably in my yoga pants.
But at least my hair will be curled and my blueberry-stained son will be smiling.
I'm sure next week will bring a whole new slew of challenges, which is ok with me. I've become pretty accustomed to change, these days... I'll roll with it. Probably in my yoga pants.
But at least my hair will be curled and my blueberry-stained son will be smiling.
I absolutely LOVE this!!!! I don't have a "normal job" that I work at from home, I'm just busy all day long watching my son. I consider you and all the other working moms out there super heroes!! I often think to myself, "How do they do it?!" Because I don't know how well I'd be able to. There are those days (more often than not) that I'm still in my yoga pants, hair is in a ponytail and on day #3 of not being washed, I haven't touched the laundry or made lunch or dinner for myself and yet I feel completely exhausted by the end of the day!! What did I do that I feel so tired?! All these other moms are working from home, have their own businesses, crafting away ...I feel so lazy and unaccomplished. But at the end of my day I look into my sweet baby boys face and I know that I'm doing a good job. In the end, our children are what matters most! You're doing such a great job as a mom and a full-time employee! Keep up the good work momma! And thanks for being so wonderfully honest and transparent in your writing ...it helps us other moms to not be so hard on ourselves :o)
ReplyDeleteThis is almost depressing, because I'm often in yoga pants with a messy house and my whole job is a stay at home mom! Lol. Really though, I've always thought work at home moms have it super tough. You get the best part of both worlds, but also the hardest parts. You ARE blessed to get to work from home, but don't feel bad admitting its a challenge. Anyone who thinks you're on easy street has obviously never dealt with a work crisis and a teething, fussy baby simultaneously! But then, the best things in life are rarely easy :)
ReplyDeleteYou're an awesome mom, it's obvious!
Loved this post!