Every Day In May: Day 3

Today I'm telling you all about things that make me uncomfortable.

Have a seat. There's nothing I love more than awkward, cringe-inducing lists.

• Opening gifts. I literally dread birthdays and Christmas if I think about gift-receiving. I mean, I love presents. But I hate opening them and having to react... even if it's a good gift! I mean, do I jump up and down like a ten year old so I can properly convey how much I like it? If I hate it, should I cry and then they will mistake my tears of disappointment for tears of sadness? Ugh. So awkward.
  
• Watching a movie with my family when a love scene comes on. I don't think I need to elaborate here, there's nothing comfortable about this. Absolutely nothing.
  
• People that don't respect personal my space. I don't need to be two inches from your face to engage in a serious conversation, and if I keep backing up, you don't need to keep inching forward. By the time we're done talking, we've completely moved rooms - and that's just weird.
  
• Singing your own lyrics or reading your own poem. You know those reality shows where a contestant whips out a piece of paper to read their potential love interest a poem they just wrote for them? I. Wanna. Die. Yuck.
  
• Going through metal detectors, or getting pulled over. Even though I know I'm not carrying an illegal weapon or stashing cocaine in my glovebox, I can't help but get completely nervous and awkward in these situations. What gives?
  
• When parents yell at their children in public. I don't know if this makes me uncomfortable as much as it makes my angry. Have some respect; for yourself, your child, and the people around you.
  
• Watching labor and delivery on TV. Even now that I've done it (fist pump!), I have to ignore it, walk away, or talk over the TV. It literally makes my insides ache.
  
• Smalltalk. Even if I know you really well, if we don't really have anything to talk about, I'm probably dying a little inside. And when you bring up the weather, I just have to walk away awkwardly to end the misery. I'm sorry in advance.
  
• WHEN PEOPLE TYPE SENTENCES IN ALL CAPS. Aesthetically, eww. And why are you yelling at me via the computer?!
  
• Secrets. I hate knowing something that I'm not allowed to share. That much power and control gives me anxiety.
  
• When Pastor tells us to turn to the person beside us to repeat something. This is my internal dialogue during service, when this happens: "Omgggg, but I have two sides! Well, we all do; so which do I choose - left or right?! And what if the person I turn to, turned to someone else?? So awkward!" So lately, I pretty much just use that time during the message to check Instagram.
• When I ask someone "how are you?" and they reply with, literally, everything that is wrong with their life today. Dude. It's just a formality.
  
• Soap opera acting.
  
• Food Network's Anne Burrell
  
• Talking on the phone. Omg. I had to add this one late, because I read it on someone else's list, and I think this has to be my #1. 9 times out of 10, the only reason I answer my phone is if my parents or husband are calling. Sometimes, I even ignore calls from my best friends. Truth. I don't know why talking on the phone makes me feel like I'm dying a slow, painful death. Awkward pauses, starting at the same time, talking over each other, barely understanding someone through their newest fancy, shmancy handsfree device. Ugh, just no. Text me. Please, for the love of everything holy.